I realized, as I was trying to keep my pooch from jumping (stupidly) off a very high counter top at the vet's today... that dogs are disgusting.
You are a disgusting, nasty breed. You lick yourself, you pull your own fur out, you must have other people clip your long, scraggly toe-nails (and if they do it wrong, you bleed on them), and above all... some of you need your anal glands squeezed or you wiggle your arse all over clean carpet!
Werewolfs just kill bunnies and turn the occasional oblivious wanderer. But you, Ma'am, are where germs and bacteria go on vacation! It's Bora Bora to the disease world. Your ears are casinos!
Oh. And you track fleas in.
P.S. I love you anyway.
P.P.S. What plants are you two taking to college and plan to murder? I'm a well-known cactus killer, so I'm at a loss. ...My green thumb must be black.