WestenraLane (westenralane) wrote in mlle_marauders,
WestenraLane
westenralane
mlle_marauders

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Dogs

To Mlle Snuffles:

I realized, as I was trying to keep my pooch from jumping (stupidly) off a very high counter top at the vet's today... that dogs are disgusting.

You are a disgusting, nasty breed. You lick yourself, you pull your own fur out, you must have other people clip your long, scraggly toe-nails (and if they do it wrong, you bleed on them), and above all... some of you need your anal glands squeezed or you wiggle your arse all over clean carpet!

Werewolfs just kill bunnies and turn the occasional oblivious wanderer. But you, Ma'am, are where germs and bacteria go on vacation! It's Bora Bora to the disease world. Your ears are casinos!

Oh. And you track fleas in.

Sincerely,
Mlle Moony

P.S. I love you anyway.
P.P.S. What plants are you two taking to college and plan to murder? I'm a well-known cactus killer, so I'm at a loss. ...My green thumb must be black.
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Can Mlle. Prongs join in on this tête-à-tête? Hah, it seem I am the only sanitary animal...though I am sure if it came down to it, I could roll in the mud just as well as you too canines.

And my dearest Mlle. Moony I wish you luck with your flora...I am taking a few [cheap] potted flowers to try my hand in keeping alive. I hope all goes well!